New York Psychotherapist

Colette Dowling, LCSW

         Psychotherapy for Feeling Good                                                       

               That's right. Therapy is for feeling good. And feeling good shouldn't take a year, or two, or three, it should happen in every session. The goal  is to be able leave your therapist's office feeling good.

           My role as a therapist is to help patients engage with whatever difficult matters they may need help with. If they should become anxious during the session I teach them skills for calming and centering themselves. I want my patients to be able to feel relaxed and good by the time they leave my office. I think of this as Psychotherapy for Feeling Good.  

         Historically there's been the idea that in therapy one has to suffer endlessly before hoping to get better. Let me say now, that's old school. Neuroscience has discovered how the brain's wiring can be changed--effectively, consistently, and yes, even pleasurably. In treatment with me you will learn brain-changing skills for calming your mindbanishing negative thinking, and eliminating shame.

      Imagine what your life might be like if you could accomplish these three     psychological tasks alone.

     Now imagine what it would be like if you could also:

  1.       Make good decisions with little stress
  2.       Create clear boundaries with friends and loved ones
  3.       Set goals with the confidence that you'll be able to meet them
  4.       Regulate your moods at will

       All of these--calming your mind, banishing negative thinking, eliminating shame, making good decisions easily, creating boundaries, setting goals with confidence, regulating your moods--require actually changing the way your brain is wired.

       Many studies done by brain scientists, and these include actually imaging the human brain while it's functioning, have led to the important knowledge that the brain changes its structure in response to experience. In short, we can change the way our brain functions through our own mental efforts.

                      Following are some ways we can do that.           

  • Voluntarily regulated breathing practices. Within minutes, slow, voluntarily regulated breathing practices (VRBPs) will lead to a state of emotional calmness and mental alertness.

  • Relationships.  One significant way of re-wiring the brain comes directly from the relationships we're either in, or have been in. This goes back to childhood and continues on into adult life. If you are in or have been in a destructive relationship, it will have a profound negative effect on the way the neurons in your brain function.
  • Being in a positive relationship changes the pathways of neurons in the brain so that new, life affirming information can come in. Studies have shown that this happens in a good therapy relationship.  
  • Mindfulness practices that can help you slow down an anxious and scattered mind.

                                            Therapy  with Colette   

            So much change and healing can come from a relationship with a compassionate and skilled therapist. It's thrilling to me to watch clients' transformation into confident, caring adults who can sustain positive relationships and feel emotionally grounded in the world.

            When old wounds are healed and depression and anxiety lift, a joyous way of living becomes possible, perhaps for the first time. This joy is the potential I hold in my heart and mind for anyone who comes to me for therapy. I will help you learn to focus on the internal world of the mind in a way that will literally change the wiring of the brain. Doing this we can help you develop a deep self-acceptance that will enable you to advance professionally and  feel happy and secure in relationships.

              If you're seeking help for traumatreatments such a EMDR (Eye Motion De-sensitization and Reprocessing) and AEPD (Accelerated Experiential Psychodynamic  Psychotherapy) can gently and effectively address the wounds inflicted by various kinds of trauma, including relational trauma. With trauma treatment you will be able to remember the upsetting things that happened to you but the powerful emotional charge connected to the memories will be neutralized, alleviating fear and allowing you  to move forward in a positive way.                                                                   

             In addition to being a psychotherapist I am a writer. My books include The Cinderella Complex: Women's Hidden Fear of Independence, and "You Mean I Don't Have to Feel This Way?": New Help for Depression, Anxiety and Addiction.



  • The Cinderella Complex. is about the struggle to become free of being overly dependent on others. Published by Simon and Schuster, the book caused a shockwave of recognition and became a best seller all over the world. It was on the New York Times best seller list for 26 weeks and was translated into 23 languages.
  • "You Mean I Don't Have to Feel This Way?": New Help for Depression, Anxiety and Addiction , published by Bantam Books, was highly regarded by the psychiatric profession when it came out in the nineties. It was the first book to explain for the lay reader the biological underpinnings of depression and anxiety, and of how to understand antidepressants and anti-anxiety agents and what they can do for those the individual.     

.       These and other books of Colette's are available on Amazon.

            For information or a free phone consultation call 718-594-0201

                             or write:

Locations: Colette Dowling, LCSW serves the online community and communities in and near New York City, including: Brooklyn Park Slope Brooklyn Heights NYC Upper West Side NYC Upper East Side Jersey City Hoboken Maple Wood Queens Westchester White Plains Jackson Heights. Colette provides marriage counseling, relationship therapy, job counseling, as well as help with divorce, dating, love and communication   

Profiles of Colette's therapy practice are available at:

Psychology Today

New-York-Psychotherapist-Colette-Dowling treats men and women in her office in the Flatiron district of Manhattan.
Anxiety Therapy, Depression Therapy, New York
New York therapist Colette Dowling, LCSW, on how anxiety therapy can change a person's way of relating to the world..
NY Psychotherapist Colette Dowling's Blog on Psychotherapy for Feeling Good
NY Psychotherapist Colette Dowling offers cutting edge information on how to re-wire the brain to sustain calm, tame negative thinking, and regulate mood.
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Premenstrual Cravings Can Be Tamed!
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Psychotherapy for Anxiety, Panic Disorder and PTSD in New York
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Postpartum Depression Can Be Treated--and Sometimes Prevented
New York psychotherapist Colette Dowling discusses how postpartum depression can be treated, and sometimes prevented.
The Cinderella Complex
NY therapist Colette Dowling discovered women's deep-rooted conflicts about independence and labled the syndrome The Cinderella Complex.
Estrogen--and--womens--mood is explained by New York psychotherapist Colette Dowling.
Light Therapy, depression, antidepressants, serotonin
New York therapist Colette Dowling discusses the effectiveness of Light Therapy for depression.
Women and Panic Attacks
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Mood Disorders and the Brain
NY psychotherapist Colette Dowling explains the role the brain plays in mood disorders like depression and anxiety.
Thyroid and Mood
Thyroid-and-mood often have an unsuspected connection. Low thyroid levels can wreak havoc with mood, energy, weight and even the ability to think straight.
Menopausal Depression is No Myth
Menopausal depression is common and can be treated.
Depression and Troubled Sleep
Depression and troubled sleep go hand in hand. In fact, troubled sleep can be the first sign of depression.
Positive Relatioships: Do You Want Help With Having Them and Sustaining Them?
Learning to sustain postive relationships is one of the benefits of psychotherapy. New York therapist Colette Dowling offers people the skills they need.

Copyright Colette Dowling, 2006-2010